Crew, I have never felt so defeated before (#3).

It’s 9:27am. Usually I’m sound asleep at this time, having come back from morning practice. But I’ve spent the past 50 minutes icing and massaging my calves, quadriceps, and hips. I have never felt so defeated before.

It was too foggy to row this morning. The coaches decide we would do a land workout instead – everyone groaned.

The coaches decided we would have an intra-team competition. Four teams of 4 would sprint 18,000 meters. Each team could decide how long each person was to row, who to switch off to and when, etc.

The four ergs were placed facing each other.

I’ve never felt so defeated before.

So, our group ended up doing 600-750 meters the first round, then 500, then 300 meter sprints for the remainder of the time. Because a lot of time is wasted getting on and off the ergs, nobody strapped their shoes in. Everyone instead had two people hold each rower’s foot and a third person to rehydrate, check the meter, etc.

I fucking gave up. I cramped up with ~5000 meters remaining and sat out for 2-3 rounds. I then rejoined and gave up within 200 meters. I had to get carried to the bench because I couldn’t walk on my own. I’ve never felt like such a pansy before, knowing that the rest of the team, especially my teammates, felt the same pain yet pulled through. In turn, they had to carry my weight because I was watching from the sidelines.

Several guys threw up during or after the workout. Everyone was drained, having gone all out.

Yo, I’ve never felt so defeated before. But I’m extra motivated now. I think that the workout was a rude awakening for me. I’m not in the best shape I could be. I’m not eating the healthiest I could, optimally caring for my body, and getting sufficient rest I need. I think many, if not all, of the other guys felt the same way, and I think that this was good for us.

It’s 9:44am, and I’m still wide awake. I was defeated today. But I’m putting forth extra effort not to get defeated again.

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