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what i didn’t tell ya that imma tell ya now.

wdup cuz,

after i saw you yesterday afternoon, your dad and i drove to eat some bomb costco pizza. he fed me well and i felt fat as hell afterward. he then needed to get some physical therapy on his arm – don’t worry, it seems like it’s healing surely but slowly. he’ll be back to playing tennis and being boss soon.

your dad was super generous to me and i got me a xi zhuang and chen shan. i’m not supposed to be getting these things but i’m justifying that it will be put to good use next year, which i’m [hopefully] confident that it will be.

now, the real treat was seeing your sister and mom in the evening. we ate dinner with a great uncle and great aunt of mine who i honestly have no recollection of, as i last saw them over ten years ago when they visited the US. i was super surprised to see your mom and sis because, well, it’s been 6+ years since i’ve seen nancy and i haven’t seen your mom since you left.

now, not only was it a surprise seeing them, it was surprising seeing them carry on with their lives. your sister is hella pretty, lemee tell ya. you’d be proud. she’s got a great smile, is thin and tall, and has good complexion. she’s working and has a boyfriend too. you’d be proud homie.

your mom, on the other hand, was ten times more talkative than i imagined her to be. she’s got a lot of white hair, but u know, it seems she wasn’t fretting about anything. she and your dad went to europe a few years ago on a tour to czech and austria. i think they enjoyed their time there.

to be honest, i’m guilty for only staying one day in taipei – i was afraid of your family and the aura they would bring. as you can see, i was super wrong to have those fears as i had a heartwarming, emotional, but strong day. had i known, i would have stayed longer.

i’m currently writing to you from chiayi. i drove down from taichung today and am now chillin’ with the grandma and the other folks. 30 min ago, i tried going to sleep but i just thought of you and ah jiu. you weren’t close with him, but i was. i’m sleeping in his room and, no matter how tired i was before i got into bed, i was wide awake after i turned off the lights. so here i am, back on the computer and writing to ya.

i’m actually going to see jiu jiu tomorrow morn. i told ai yi tonight after dinner that i wanted to see him – gotta always pay my dues to you and him when i come back,   u know? another guilty thing imma confess to you: i love taiwan, but these are things that i hate confronting whenever i’m here. as much as a good time i always have here, i’m also equally sad and depressed yo. real talk, but i gotta man up and pull thru na mean?

i turn 22 in a week man. one week! after this year it’s real life for me. i got this master plan laid out called “the future” that scares the absolute shit outta me. but, you keep me going yo. the cheng family keeps me going, and i got motivators that prevent me from standing idly and being stagnant. i stand on the shoulders of giants man. don’t worry about me; i worry enough about myself lolol.

it’s a shame that you’re gone. forreal. your dad was telling me yesterday on the balcony overlooking ya. we’ll never know how ya left, only speculation of what happened that day. but whatever. if there’s a heaven, you’d be right on top enjoying it. don’t forget that you were me and cindy’s fav cousin. the one that paid attention to us, played with us, bickered with us, and went on fam vacays with us. love ya man.

yo in a few days i’m back in the US. speaking of the US, richard got married one week ago. he’s the last of the chongs to get married. i love him a ton and learned a lot from him a couple years ago. were u still here, you woulda attended his wedding. and alex’s. and albert’s. they all miss you and love you, no doubt.

over five and a half years now man. you woulda been almost 32 now. finished ya ph.d, maybe working and living in the states. who knows yo, speculatin’ is speculatin’, who am i to say what if and whatevs. but imma do it anyway. you woulda found a good girl who woulda been good to ya. you wouldn’t let a trick play ya as you’re no fool. you woulda led a good life and made your mom and pops proud.

i carry the burden. and i hate it and i’m angry about it but i carry it. and i won’t letcha down. if i conduct business in the future, which most of my friends say i will, then i’ll be sure not to become corrupt and bad. if i become a politician, which i sure hope i won’t, then i’ll be a good one. if i do law, which i seriously doubt i will, i’ll be honest yo. if i do IR or other govt stuff, i’m honestly not worried at all lol… i know i’m capable and damn good at what i do. and lastly, whatev i’ll do, i’ll make the fam proud. run and tell that yo.

love ya cuz.




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