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Setbacks: the uneasiness of stagnancy.

I was caught with a non-cold illness last week. It was the first time I’ve been sick in I-can’t-even-recall-how-long. It started last Saturday, and I’ve now almost recuperated eight days later.

On Tuesday morning, from 12:00-3:30am, I was taken to the hospital after having a fever for three straight days. I was then prescribed medication for my condition and was given a doctor’s note to not go to school for the next three days. I only have classes from Tuesday to Thursday, which meant that I didn’t attend class for the week. I also had two midterms on Tuesday that I did not take, and I had to reschedule both.

For the majority of the week, until two days ago, I spent virtually the entire day and night in my room and away from civilization. I did nothing productive and only spent time resting or being on the computer.

My illness left me dependent on other people past my comfort level. I was a free-rider in the study guide for one midterm; my girlfriend cooked me meals and constantly exchanged ice packs on my forehead; my roommate constantly checked on my health; my floormate brought me hot tea and food. Another had to check the bathroom to make sure I didn’t faint while showering. Despite being hungry, I had no appetite due to the pain in chewing food. Despite being tired, I couldn’t fall asleep as I wasn’t expending any energy. Despite being awake, I couldn’t study due to the accumulated stress that had taken a toll on my body.

But time don’t stop. Time went on during that week, and it left me stagnant in my tracks. In constantly glorifying the emotional comfort of being in control, it was a tough change for me to suddenly become so dependent on others. I was upset that, despite being as healthy as I can withstand, I became vulnerable and couldn’t sustain myself.

That ain’t me!

The illness awoken me to the things I take for granted. Like being able to walk at a decent pace. Like being able to walk at all. Like being able to chew my food at a normal pace. Like having people (like the mother) that are willing to help you any time of the day or night. It made me appreciate good health, and how lucky I am to be able to life [for the most part] an easygoing, healthy life. Having unreliable health must be very annoying.

I can’t control when I get sick, but I’d certainly like to mitigate the chances of it. Not only am I sparing myself from dealing with handicaps and waiting out recuperation, I’m also sparing myself from dependence from others. In terms of personal health, Forever Free is the way to be.


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